That's right folks, in exactly one week I will be 27 years old. It feels like just a few months ago I was joking about being "4 years from 30" and now here I am, three years one week from 30. No, I'm not one of those people who freaks out about being an age, but it does make you think a little. It's fascinating that even at 27 you still have this semblance of adolescence lingering within you. When you're a child everyone talks about "growing up" and being an "adult" but the truth is we are never this ideal adult we're told we'll be. We are all walking around pretending that we know what the hell is going on, and if anything it becomes more confusing as the years go on and the naive beliefs of our former selves (the first and only version we've known until "adulthood") are exposed. The less naive we become, the harder it is to hold on to that inner child, but I think it should be the opposite. I mean really, we all lie all the time about things we want or things we do, but really we just want to be happy; free like we were when we were kids. I guess that's why no matter how shitty things get or how overwhelmed I feel I refuse to let go of being a kid. When we lock that kid into a closet in our mind we are killing half of ourselves, and the truest form of self we've ever known. I think as we become older we feel we're supposed to be a certain way, but all the while our true selves are tugging at our pant legs going, "Hey, that's not what you really want!"
I graduated from college this year after a long haul of major changes, questions, discoveries, and pain, but I feel I gained something out of that which can never be replaced. I took the long hard road, and initially for what I'm not sure, but ultimately I wouldn't change a thing. I've gotten to know myself, what I want, and what I don't want better than most people I know. I've taken the time to just appreciate, ponder, fuck up, and live. To me, that's worth the time and money spent figuring it all out. Which by the way I have very little of it figured out. Just when we think we have some portion of life figured out new discoveries change that, but isn't that the beauty of life? I would much rather be discovering all the time, keeping my mind fresh, then continuing down a long boring road of "that's the way it is." Nothing is cut and dry, not even adulthood, or childhood for that matter.
Cheers, to living and not labeling!
" We're like children dressing in our parents' clothes..." - mewithoutyou A Glass Can Only Spill What It Contains